The following is a very real phone conversation with Battles’ Ian Williams about La Di Da Di:

Hey Dylan. It’s Ian, from Battles. As we are obviously such close personal friends, I wanted to call you up and hear your thoughts on the new record.

Hey Ian. Yeah, uh, I’ve given it a few listens and uh … I mean, it’s really well produced.

Not a fan, I take it?

Well, your technical ability really shines through. You and Dave and John, you’re doing some difficult things, and that’s really impressive.

Stop beating around the bush. I’m a grown man. I can take some criticism. What did we do wrong?

It’s … the record is really, really boring. I see what you’re trying to do here. I hear the ability, I hear the production — I hear it and recognize the care that went into crafting the record. And while I appreciate all that, I listen to the record and feel not much at all, really. It’s all really soulless.

That’s not very helpful.

I know. Initially I thought the timbres you guys were using for your instruments were way too similar from song to song. But then I started listening to tracks like “Dot Com” and realized that you have so many different keyboard tones here — the chugging low end, the jazzy, almost-saxophone-like midrange, the really playful high end. Yet I don’t feel any dance-ability from the low end, any goofiness from the high end, or the fun you’d expect from these kinds of melodies. It’s all just blah.

We’ve always done these things, though. And they worked out well on Mirrored and Gloss Drop. Why have they suddenly stopped working?

Here’s my best guess: Mirrored and Gloss Drop have this strong tension between the cold, machine-like efficiency of math rock and bits of whimsy and playfulness. That contrast is what makes you guys unique. But the balance is completely off on La Di Da Di. Before, the whimsy was wired into the songs — the structures of the songs themselves, the vocal features, so on. This time, the whimsy comes by use of effect pedal or weird melody; the balance is off.

And this balance is a huge deal. It’d be one thing if this were a cold, calculated math-rock record. What I’m hearing instead, however, is a cold, calculated attempt at fun, and that’s just so much worse. It’s like the office holiday party: In its feigned attempts to be fun, it somehow ends up being even worse than a normal working day.

Ugh. Do you have any better advice than “be more fun”?

Yeah, I do. It’s just … I don’t think it can be done.

No. No no no no no. Don’t say it. I know what you’re going to say. Just don’t.

<Breathes in deeply> If there’s any way y’all can get Tyondai Braxton back in the fold, you need to do it. Gloss Drop made me believe y’all could survive without him, but his weirdo sensibilities would do wonders for this album.

<Ian Williams hangs up phone, in disgust>

Battles: La Di Da Di
Playlist Picks: “Dot Com,” “FF Bada,” “Summer Simmer”
55%Overall

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